Posted by: David | January 21, 2013

Silliness Plus Kitten

Apparently photos of kittens are very popular on the internet. Let’s pretend this is a LOLkitten.

Unlikely Superheroes &  their Sidekicks

  • Stud Muffin Top & Crueller Lady
  • Penis Girl & Vagina Guy (Fighting Sexism Throughout the Galaxy)
  • Super John Doe & Your Name Here
  • Mr. Know-It-All & Dum-Dum
  • Captain Dweeb & Sir Reginald Schmuck

Annoying and/or Pointless Aphorisms …

  • Never say always.
  • As you get older you repeat yourself.
  • Always say never.
  • As you get older …
  • Never mind.
  • Aphorisms are so trite, aren’t they?
  • Keep yourself in Czech.
  • Nihilism, it’s nothing to fear.

Ill-considered Career Choices

  • Chia farmer
  • Suicide bomber
  • Posthumous bucket list editor
  • BB Gunman
  • Urinal cake salesman
  • Urinal cake inspector
  • Urinal cake collector
  • No I’m not obsessed with urinal cakes, why would you even think that?

Failed Products

  • Pushed pork
  • Tankless water tanks
  • Pre-moistened dessicant packets
  • Dung-scented air freshener
  • Air-scented dung freshener

Stupid Stupid Questions

  • When will the final apocalypse get here?
  • What is a question?
  • Why?

I’m terribly sorry about this. Clearly I’ve completely lost my way as a blogger. Or maybe I never had my way. Not sure.


  1. LOL, has it been that bad a winter?

    Thanks Pied. It’s been an OK winter so far. We’re in a cold snap now. Arctic air mass from Canada and all. We could use some more snow to keep the ground covered.

    • I would gladly send you the snow, but here in Italy, we don’t have any just now. I could send you some sunshine though. Look how it even helped Berlusconi’s polls. As long as the sun keeps shining, we will all vote for Berlusconi and who cares.

      Well we got that snow after all. About twenty inches of it.

      Please go ahead and cast your vote for Silvio if that will help the declining birth rate. A nation that runs out of people can’t really be much of anything now can it?

  2. Pushed Pork!! Captain Dweeb & Sir Reginald Schmuck!! Very nice silliness. Nice kitten, too.

    Thanks maleesha! Pushed pork generally gets a laugh, especially in context, and the college dining hall frequently serves pulled pork, so there’s my context. I imagine it’s original though it’s too obvious to have not been thought of by others. Right?

  3. I loved ‘chia farmer’ and the kitten but I had to research the definition of a urinal cake –I was just so relieved. Still I completely attribute this post to garlic fumes.

    Hahah! That’s funny linniew, I sorta forgot that women don’t have the pleasure of urinal cakes in their public restrooms. What a shame. A while back in the men’s room of a restaurant it occurred that a humorous restaurant critic might say the place’s food was OK, but their urinal cakes were exceptional. I cracked myself up there in the bathroom and resolved to use urinal cakes as comedy somehow. Sad to say this post has been stewing for many months now.

    So you think I’m high on garlic fumes, huh? I gave up smoking garlic quite a while ago. Just so you know. 🙂

    • I didn’t know that garlic can be smoked. Or is this a joke?

      Yes, it was an attempt at a joke. Although, I feel very confident in supposing that someone at some point in the history of the world tried to smoke garlic. They would have had to dry it first. Of course. 🙂

  4. Your post is unnecessarily redundant. You shame the world of bloggerdom! Shame! Shame I say! (As you recall, I recently posted a tome about how naff my own blog is!

    Better luck next time.

    Beg to differ. All redundancy contained herein is quite necessary.

    Thanks for the good luck wish friend! The blog stuffing has gone from me now.

    • The kitten is cute.

      Yeah. There were 4 or 5 of them at a birthday party we recently attended.

      • So in the US they throw birthday parties for their cats and kittens. Does anyone think I am surprised? I am not. It is called more of the same. It is a sad trend trying to make something of nothing.

        However, it must have been a nice party. Did you serve mice? You should have served sardines or tuna fish, because they like it better and you avoid harming the mice.

        Always try to put yourself in the other guy’s shoes.

        Maybe so, but let’s get one thing straight. I would NEVER go to a birthday party for any pet. Another thing I think you should know is that rodent control is one of my primary reasons for always having a cat around. Plus I like to watch them. And I don’t mind having a cat in my lap when watching TV or reading.

  5. But what is the kitten’s name? Do your readers know it? Is it a relative of your daughter’s two kittens? However, it isn’t a LOL kitten. Those are mostly doing something.

    Shouldn’t you be shoveling that snow off your roof?

    Hello and welcome alacarte. Your voice is very familiar! This kitten was one of a litter (of 5?) born to my niece’s cat, who should have been spayed by now. If that kitten had a name, it didn’t make an impression on me.

    There is not enough snow to bother with shoveling off the roof. Thank god. I won’t undertake that task unless there’s a good meter of snow up there.

  6. Familiar? The problem is that I think my blog may have been marked (won’t say the key word) not apt for the general public.I’ll tell you by separate mail, for it is rather scary.

    What?! Your blog is NOT for the general public. It’s too intellectual. But I’m looking for your email …

  7. I have to confess I saw the kitten and was intrigued. Thought maybe you got a kitty! Then again I am a cat person, and completely adore seeing all things cat-related on the interwebz. I will admit that I adore LOLcatz because if I’m down, it definitely perks me up like catnip. Not that I do catnip…just a good metaphor. And if you think cats are the only meme, well, you should see the number of those weird hand-drawn faces with weird sayings. I find the kittens much better.

    The felines haz fared well on the interwebz ain’t they?

    • Aren’t dog persons more reliable than cat persons? Of course it would be a rather simple rule if that were so, but of two examples or three I can think of now, indeed, cat people are not reliable, and a famous example though I have forgotten his name is a French cardinal who helped the protestants start a war against the catholic church. I think Obama is also a cat person, though he is astute enough to act as oif he were a dog person. LOL. Go figure.

      Has there ever been a pussy cat in the White House? If we are to believe this web page, apparently First Cats have become more common. And the Republicans were first. Go figure indeed.

      • That’s rather odd logic. To be fair, I like both cats and dogs, but I consider my personality to be more suitable to cats. And I also feel that people who don’t like cats, just are disturbed at how much cats are like humans. Temperamental, picky, like naps, and aren’t always up for affection. Sure dogs are great, but it isn’t totally fair to say you don’t like cats when you don’t try to get to know them. And don’t say they scratched you or something. That’s a silly excuse. Humans do the same thing. They just use words instead. 😛

        Very interesting observations cscenglishbabe! Totally agree with you on all of them. I like cats better too.

        • Cats are very nice people, but cat persons aren’t, because they don’t show enough love for the ideal of law and order, and instead openly or brazenly show delight for erratic behaviour.

          However, as you would probably know, this isn’t based on real science. It’s more like psychology, some general observations loosely based on statistics, and so don’t think that I meant to say that if push came to shove you would not be a good friend.

          Sure. Cat ladies come to mind. Notably anti-social and isolated. It didn’t sound like you were saying I would not be a good friend, but you almost said that psychology is not a real science. “Real” science is also loosely based on observations and statistics. Both are full of uncertainty.

          • They are all full of uncertainty and provisional data, but they are not all of them word-based which necessarily makes them provincial. Some are based on measurements. That makes the difference. They receive global scrutiny and acceptance. The trouble is, these are all concerning matter.

            Psycho stats look like measurements, but they start out on prior and older terminologies which are provincial.

            Nevertheless, there have been brilliantly designed psychology experiments. These yield a different type of data than harder sciences’ experiments, but some knowledge is gained. Is “provincial” negative?

  8. Less Creepy.

    Not so sure about that cscenglishbabe. Consider how murderous cats are and the cuteness factor dwindles. I can’t even count the number bird corpses and rodent spleens our cat has left on our doorstep.

    More Creepy says I.

  9. I read that you are getting a lot of snow there. I hope you are alright. And the roof?

    Thanks for asking. We’re fine. Your comment motivated me to publish a new post. Thanks!

  10. Gosh this was forever ago. I promise to be more attentive to comments and updating my blog in the future.

    I wouldn’t say cats are “murderous,” they are simply predators. If a dog is not fixed, and it sees something run, it will instinctively run after it, a “preying” instinct if you will. My parents’ dog is not fixed and he has done this since he was a puppy. He’s 11 now. I don’t think it is fair to say it’s creepy, when it’s simply nature. Carnivorous animals kill to get their food.

    Devotionally speaking, yes, dogs are a bit more affectionate, but they still are animals. And if you want to look at it in a more primeval fashion, we could be “murderous too” if the need prevailed. My cat was an indoor kitty in his day, he only killed mice in the basement, but we were quite grateful for that because they always made a mess of things, holes in boxes and making nests and such. 🙂

    Now that “Cat People” thing I have to contest. I feel that is such a gross generalization. And to be fair, I also know many cat people who are quite pleasant (and that is NOT just because I’m a cat person). And as Dave can tell you, though I identify as a cat person, I love dogs too, and will play with them to my heart’s content, but if I were to own an animal, I’d own a cat, as I do not think I could devote the time to a dog with the type of job I have. Cats are independent, they can take care of themselves for the most part, we mainly just need to feed them and clean their litterbox. Dogs are great, but they can be needy and clingy. It might sound harsh, but it’s the truth. (See how similar cats and people are? People just don’t like to admit it!)

    Again, I love dogs, but as a young woman who travels frequently for work, it would be unfair for me to own such an animal without providing for him/her the proper amenities.

    And honestly. Dave could also tell you, I am not anti-social, and though I do love books, I am not an isolated person who keeps herself from society. I socialize, have friends, am a loving, empathetic individual, but I also know when I need to be alone. (To be frank, I think that’s sensible and realistic as a human being) And I’m definitely not mean.

    I’m a cat person, but I don’t fall into your cliched stereotype.

    And Dave would also tell you how much I HATE stereotypes. 🙂

    Peace, Love and Non-denominational Cat worshipping Blessings…




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