Posted by: David | December 2, 2010

Awesome Holiday Gift Idea!

My holiday shopping is done! Actually it’s been done for several years now. I finally discovered the perfect gift for everyone on my list. OK, I don’t have a list. Ya got me. This item also comes in handy for all holiday parties, at home and at work. Wondering what it could be?

wait for it …

YES! I’m giving everyone a tube of anchovy paste! It’s a great gift because:

  1. People love salty things
  2. People love little fishies
  3. People love stuff in handy squeeze tubes
  4. Provides 100% RDA of sodium and other minerals
  5. Packs easily into suitcase or overnight bag
  6. Comes in handy when you run out of toothpaste
  7. Super easy to gift wrap
  8. Tube is recyclable
  9. Needs no refrigeration (maybe)
  10. No 10th reason even needed!*

Pretty compelling case huh? If you have any vegan friends on your list no worries, the US government declared anchovy paste a vegetable several years ago in the same bill that changed the legal status of ketchup. It was a little known earmark on the now-famous legislation changing food classifications.

Happy Holidays!

 

*Source: The US Anchovy Board

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Responses

  1. Anchovy Paste. Wow. Can this be used in the boudoir as well?

    Are you kidding? I’m surprised you haven’t tried it already. 🙂

  2. I will be watching my mail box eagerly for my very own tube! Yes!!!!!!

    Well lkr, hopefully you’ve been good all year. If not you’ll be getting a tube of coal paste instead. Or depleted uranium paste if you’ve been really really bad. 😦

  3. You’re a riot! Love it!

    If not a riot, perhaps a small disturbance? Thanks for visiting Abby!

  4. You are a genius! And my personal hero!

    For years my girlfriend loved the pizza at this place. The problem is she likes anchovy pizza and they never carried anchovies. So I started carrying a can around with me. One day someone asked if they could borrow a can. The stores were closed and they needed it for a recipe. I said sure and started reaching for my coat.

    “What? Wait?” Someone said. “You’re joking, right? You don’t carry anchovies with you?”

    I pull them out of my pocket, show them to her and say,

    “Yeah, all the time. Don’t you?” I said giving her my best ‘What type of loathsome human being are YOU?’ look.

    Thanks B&G, I’m totally pumped up. My toupee don’t fit no more.

    What kind of verkakte pizza place doesn’t have anchovies fuckryinoutloud?

    You set a fine example for us all carrying your own anchovies.

  5. sniff, and I didn’t get you anything…

    It’s OK Care, I was a bad boy this year anyway. I’m still being bad now too, and have not learned my lesson at all. I’m incorrigible. 😦

  6. Anchovy paste is defined as a vegetable by the US authorities. What about Swiss cheese?

    But you forgot or omitted or concealed or maybe retroengineered (?) the ingredients of this vegetablious anchovy paste.

    Privately I think it is a toothpaste, though not as tasty as Colgate.

    But maybe even so my cat would like it if I still had my cat. She liked cooked potato peelings, too.

    Oh no not really cantueso, that was a joke, lest you think even worse of the USA, the greatest nation ever to have existed on this planet 🙂

    Fortunately, Swiss cheese is correctly classified as a cheese, but with holes. It’s also one of my most favorite kinds of cheese.

    I forgot to list the ingredients: anchovies and salt. And there’s no such thing as the US Anchovy Board, however there really is a US Potato Board. Click the link for all the latest updates on potatoes. But don’t try using the search box at the top of the page like I did. I wanted to find out whatever happened to Mr. Potato Head and was sorely disappointed.

    Anchovy paste would be best as a private toothpaste. Yes. Unless one is planning on kissing a cat afterward.

  7. This is the first time that I see, in your header, there is a hedge around the vegetable beds. Doesn’t that keep the deer from coming in?

    There really isn’t a complete hedge around the vegetable beds, just a number of obstacles. The deer can and do come in to browse and cause some damage, usually not too bad.

  8. I have to quickly tell you this story.

    Madrid subway.The platform where people wait for the train is about 2 meters above the tracks.
    A kid was was walking along the platform and fell down onto the tracks.
    The people on the platform saw the train coming and held up their hands to tell the train conductor to stop.
    A policeman who happened to be there talking to his girlfriend started to run along the platform while taking off his jacket. He jumped down to the man who was lying on the tracks.
    The train came on full speed and unable to stop, while the policeman grabbed the man by the shoulders and dragged him over to the other track, just as the train raced by so close that most people thought it cut off the man’s feet, but it didn’t.
    Now as another train was coming on the other track, the policeman dragged the man to the side and lifted, threw him up to the platform and jumped up and was safe.

    Here is the video presented by the same policeman.
    It is a great story in remembrance of all these Dick Cheney people out there who believe that altruism is either hypocritical or sick. It is in fact typical of young and strong people who mostly have much more potential than they can make use of, and it recedes in older individuals as they get pushed into the defensive.

    http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2010/12/04/madrid/1291479880.html

    Yes apparently the rescuer had recently finished his police training. Inspiring story. Thanks for relating it.

  9. I love anchovy paste– it gets your teeth so clean!

    There is only one place here that puts anchovies on pizzas. When I call them, and my phone number comes up, they beg me not to order it. Wimps! B&G’s idea is just excellent. Like a concealed carry, with fish.

    Yes! That squeaky clean feeling, and the freshest breath ever!

    That’s funny about the pizza place. When I worked for Domino’s (as a delivery driver) in 1977, the pizza making dudes always whined when a customer ordered anchovies. They had a big jar of anchovies in the fridge and hated to take it out and have to ‘touch the fish’.

    B&G is a genius. If I had lots of money I would provide venture capital to develop an aerosol anchovy product (think ‘Cheez Whiz’ but not cheez- ANCHOVEEZ!) that we could all carry in our lunch buckets, along with our mini bottle of hot sauce heaven- SRIRACHA!

  10. You could brush your cat’s teeth with it!

    That’s a great idea!


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