Posted by: David | August 26, 2009



My wife and I were working together in the garden the other night. It was nice. We weeded the blighted tomatoes behind the barn and worked our way over to the backyard garden which we inspected row by row. Till we noticed a couple of ginormous summer squash. Good squash gone bad.
“Uh-oh” I said, twisting off the big yellow fruits and brandished them ominously. They were almost too big to brandish. “Guess they got away from us”.
“Yeah” my wife says. She takes the over-sized gourds in her arms.
Next plant over had a huge zucchini.
“Oh crap!” I twist it off and hand it over.
The last plant in the row just has a couple of blossoms and a couple of little baby yellow squashes.
Clear!” I announce. Maybe we watch too many cop shows.

This year’s major corn harvest. Saturday the 22nd of August, 2009.

Lots of harvesting lately. Some corn stats for the record … the wheelbarrow holds 94 ears of corn. That yielded 15 one quart bags of frozen corn. I froze 3 quarts raw. Which means each bag contained 6.2666666666666666666666666666667 ears. Approximately.

Should there be a β‰  sign between the ears and bags?

These were the 3 “champion” ears.


I tried experimenting with freezing some sweet corn raw two years ago. I failed. Experiment inconclusive. No data. We never ended up trying it. It was chucked from the freezer 2 years later. Let’s not let that happen again OK? The 3 quarts of raw frozen kernels should be tried out in the late fall, mid-winter, and early spring. How bout that?

Morning glories on the south side of the house.

Computer Nerd Joke Alert. My friend Bonnie (the Talking Mime), came up with this a few days ago. She’d called me when one of the computers in her water testing lab had been hit by a virus. I was blathering on and on trojan this, malware that, and how I might have to come over to the lab and run a scan on the computer with Windows in Safe Mode, blah blah blah.
“Oh, I only run Windows in Dangerous Mode” she says. Hah! Wish I’d thought of that!

With that, and a yawn, I hereby click PUBLISH …


  1. This sounds… delightful. Can I live in your garden? I may not be as cute as the fairies but hey… I can keep an eye on the legumes before they become too big! πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for commenting. Sure dragonfly, the gnome would be happy to have some company. Or you could frolic with the deer, eating carrot tops and sunflower leaves. πŸ™‚

  2. Dave: uncooked, the corn’s sugars turn to starch. I would blanch the corn before freezing to keep it sweet… Those champion ears: my, my! Move over, Barack Obama…

    Yes, I know, but how long will that take in the deep freeze? And how bad will the starchy corn taste? We shall see … πŸ™‚ Are you saying the prez has champion ears too? I like the way he sometimes says “listen” or “look” in preface to an observation.

  3. Bad gourds, bad gourds, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do ’cause we can’t eat you.

    Hee hee!! Drunk and disorderly zucchinis — a public menace.

  4. Dave, methinks you got upstaged by vermonter and boundandgags. ROFL!

    I’m very happy to be downstage of either of them. πŸ™‚

  5. Oh, yeah, I run Windows in dangerous mode, too—good one!
    I hope your mornings are as glorious as your morning glories and your days as corny as your ears.
    I’m with dragonfly. You may have a garden full of bloggers if this keeps up.

    Thanks museditions. I like the sound of that comment. I wonder what constitutes a corny day.

  6. I am just amazed at the faux brickwork! It looks fantastic. And when did you get so nouvelle cuisine that you could not figure out how to eat a vegetable bigger than a lilliputian??? I’ll take giant squash any day!!! And the corn looks fabulous!

    Yes, my wife is very very clever. And we’ve always been nouvelle. Perhaps you’ll be interested in the mutant squash that have grown out of the compost. They are very large, yellow, and moonlike, for lack of a better descriptor. They sprouted from the moldy un-used squashes I chucked there at the end of last winter. Some sort of squashy cross-pollinating hanky panky …

  7. Love the nerdy computer joke, along with just about every reference to the “too big” vegetables (almost too big to brandish…lol πŸ™‚ ). I wonder though…I always thought bigger is better? I’m not referring to anything inappropriate, in fact I am still in the vegetable realm, as my mind keeps going back to those “prized champion pumpkins” that win the blue ribbon for being the biggest…but perhaps those are big for the purpose of glory, but not functional?

    Hmm…vegetables intrigue me today, thanks for waking up my brain on a Monday πŸ™‚

    Thanks Romi. Always a pleasure to read your comments. My friend Bonnie is a hoot all right. Her computer was the first one of several at work that day to pick up an annoying intruder that disabled Internet Explorer. So we laughted at lunch the following week that her system had been the “harbringer”. Malaprops R Us.

    Glad you got your Monday serving of internet vegetables. Now THAT is health care!

  8. Homegrown corn = yummy goodness…especially laced with lime juice.

    Through no effort (or knowledge of my own), I think there’s a pumpkin patch growing in my back yard.

    Nice to “see” you Allison. Thanks for commenting and for that lovely idea of lime juice on corn. I gotta try that now! I wonder if lemon juice would work. That’s what we have in the fridge now. Lemons. And the critters are now into the remnants of the corn. We’re pleased that they waited for us to harvest the bulk of it. I hope you get some pumpkins from your patch. Maybe the vines are visiting from a neighbor’s garden? If so I would think that you’d be entitled to the fruits on your lawn.

  9. My new digs came with an elevated garden bed, but I haven’t done anything with it this year. I noticed vines growing like crazy and thought maybe the prior owner had planted squash. Upon closer examination, I have at least 5 pumpkins…maybe the prior owner let some pumpkins rot last fall?? Anyhoo, they’re mine, all mine. Can’t wait to carve one.

    An elevated garden bed … ? … is that what we east coast gardeners refer to as ‘raised beds’? Whatever, that’s really cool that the new house came with some punkin vines, however they sprouted. I think you should take some pix. I plan to show some mutant squash photos here soon. Stay tuned.

  10. Thanks for the press, Da-bid – you *know* I love it!
    And those Morning Glories….they’re a party for the eyes, my friend!
    B.T.T.M. – but you already knew that, I bet!! πŸ™‚

    You’re welcome Bon! But I’m not the only blogger that writes about you. Glad you like the pretty flowers. πŸ™‚

    BTTM. I’m stumped. Wuzzat?

  11. Is ‘laughted’ a new word for my vocab? I kinda like it. (in response to Romi)

    ALWAYS fun to visit here. oh, and wicked cool on that Steven Tyler siting.

    AND? one more thing…. Can’t you use the big veggies for next years seeds? I don’t know – just curious, I guess.

    I like laughted too. But I don’t see it in Romi’s comment. But that’s OK. Thanks for visiting. I’ve been very blogligient lately, due mostly to work. Things really got awfully busy and still are. I’m looking forward to this weekend already.

    We do save seeds from some things, and some things just reseed themselves in our garden plots. We probably could save zucchini seeds, but only if they’re not hybrid varieties. Also, cross pollination of squashes can create MUTANTS. [foreshadowing upcoming photos of mutant squash]

    You are Curious C, after all, right?

  12. It sounds as if it were bad if the pumpkin is very big. Why would that be bad?

    And the morning glory that climbed up the wall, is that its natural shape or did you trim it to look like a dancer?

    Big pumpkins are good. More seeds. Roasted pumpkin seeds are a favorite autumn treat.

    The morning glory found its own way up the trellis after my wife planted the seeds. The only “trimming” was photo cropping.

  13. No pumpkins here. Never seen any.

    But I only came back to warn you and to tell you to keep your shutters closed and take the cat in, because they have started up the particle collider again and it is working.

    Yes, the pumpkin season is over here. I saw on TV that there is serious shortage of canned pumpkin, which folks here traditionally use for the Thanksgiving pie.

    Thanks for the warning about the collider. I’ve been following their progress on Twitter and the CERN sites. I’m afraid that the cat is out for the day now. I hope that I can depend on you for advance warning if they manage to create a black hole that sucks in Europe. If not, then I’ll just say that it has been nice getting to know you. Thanks for being such a faithful commenter. πŸ™‚

  14. Apparently they did create a black hole, but only a tiny little minuscule one which is now being marketed as a vacuum cleaner.

    Anyway, now that the US are broke, maybe they’ll stop financing that dumb thing, but probably they won’t. I have two Nazi posts. One is on Riefenstahl the moviemaker and another one is on Speer, Hitler’s star architect. Yesterday, Saturday, at 8 in the morning, these two were hanging on at the tail end of my top posts. In the early afternoon, once the Europeans had come in, I was overjoyed to see that both of them had been displaced by something on Dali the painter and something on Flamenco dance. However, guess what would happen once the Americans came back in?

    Indeed. Today at 08.00 am, the two Nazis were again ahead with a sum total of 23, more than 10% of a bad-stats day.

    Oh that must be what that ridiculous Dyson vacuum “system” is. The whole world of physicists is way too committed to give up on that now. The USA already gave up on one that was to have been about 3 times the size of the CERN machine.

    I don’t understand what you mean about Europeans and Americans “coming in” to change the rankings of your posts. But I should say that your Dali post is a favorite of mine too.

  15. Maybe you also don’t know about that 6 hour time difference. — I must have told you about a math geek at Google groups who once asked me whether I always stayed up all night to do my googling.

    I normally shut down my computer at 9 pm. That is 3 pm there, and I most of my hits after that. The nature of the hits changes: younger people, fewer moralinas, less art, more war, more timelines, in short, more things that I never knew anything about until I wrote those posts.

    Oh yes, I’m aware of the time difference between Bradford and Madrid. Good for you for shutting down the computer at 9 pm. I shut down a little later and aim to be in bed by 10 so I can get enough sleep to rise by 5 am.

    I call the moralinas “rectitude freaks”. This medium is informative after all.

  16. Dali is liked by everybody (not the post, but the man). I wonder whether he might outlast Picasso the virtuoso.

    One never forgets Dali. One forgets Picasso in minutes. But Dali was a nut, Picasso was lucid even about himself.

    Yet Dali is liked and Picasso is only admired.

    Yes, I agree completely. That nuttiness is sometimes endearing, the opening scene of Un Chien Andalou being a notable exception. And then there’s that ridiculous moustache. That would have gotten on my nerves …

  17. What for do you get up at 5 am? Isn’t that a little early?

    “Corny” (the title of this post) means “dull and tiresome but with pretensions of significance or originality”. What could that be? I took the definition from the dictionary. A corny speech? A joke?

    I have a morning routine that takes 3 hours up to and including my arrival at work at 8 am. I won’t bore you with the details, but I arrive at work fed, caffeinated, exercised, and showered.

    Corny refers mostly to the photos and narrative regarding the maize harvest. I should report here too that we ate some of the corn that I froze raw. It’s not as good as the conventionally blanched frozen corn. But it’s still good.

    Oh, wait. Are you teasing me again?

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