Posted by: David | March 18, 2008

An Apple a Day

My best friend’s teenage son is following in his father’s footsteps. My friend did a long-enough stint as a standup comic/magician/emcee/corporate presenter/motivator/annoying-guy-in-a-tux before finding his calling as a therapist. Jokes, comedy, and humor in general AND in great specificity have always been the life blood of our friendship. From our preteen years onward …

So his son wrote this pretty cool joke. This amazing kid will be 13 next month. He’s doing, and doing well, the coin and card tricks that I watched his dad do over and over when we were teenagers. And he can juggle 4 balls several different ways. Here’s his joke:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but my aim is pretty bad so I need like 4 or 5 apples.


Pretty good isn’t it?


  1. Yes, good, though foreign language speakers need to think a little. Nice. And short enough so one can learn it by heart and remember it.

    I was at Google trying to see the Google transcript of abook that Lou Salome wrote about Nietzsche. Hard to read always, but literally on top of it was one of those teacher’s introductions.

    Now, next time I have a flu and paracetamol, I will figure out why the teacher’s introduction is like that road sign, but worse. Goethe said and wrote that he would crap on Werther’s tomb. (Werther was his first novel). University teachers crap on everything they write about.

    (The above remark on Goethe is so good that I will presently also put it in a blog. Can’t always find ways to say things so accurately.)

    Is there a similar saying about apples in any of your languages? I’m trying to figure out how your comment transitioned from apple-throwing joke to Goethe, but I don’t have time so I’m just going to make a quick decision. I will crap on Goethe’s tomb. Someday. If it’s a dark night and there’s nobody around. And I have to go real bad! OK well I guess that’s enough of that! Please pardon my sacriliterary faux pas. It’s all in the name of comedy.

    And seriously I would like to thank you for making the effort to say things accurately. I can’t be certain that I’m understanding you all the time, but most of the time I do.

  2. Sorry, in case you don’t know what road sign:
    the one of a photo of yours saying: WARNING: THE EDGES OF THIS SIGN ARE SHARP

    Here’s one I don’t understand. I remember the photo (it was not mine but one of those widely distributed web joke photos) of the sign. But I don’t understand this comment’s reference to it as it pertains to this post. But that’s OK, I don’t need to understand everything. In fact, I do not think that I ever will. πŸ˜€

  3. πŸ˜€ Genious!

    (spelt as intended πŸ˜› )

    You know something? I just realized that an intentionally incorrect spelling needs more of an explanation than the correctly spelled word. But if you can’t explain “Genious” that’s OK. Can you please tell me why this joke made you laugh? Even if you have to state the obvious … My friend’s kid would probably like to know and I will be traveling to see them in a couple of weeks. πŸ™‚

  4. hahaa! Yes, it’s a good one.
    and short enough that even I can remember.. .and I always mess up the punch line.

    I may not have gotten it right in the first place, I am terrible at remembering jokes too. I’ll check with the author to see if it’s been fully optimized. The shorter the better!

  5. Smart kid!!! I wish I was so clever. I might actually remember this joke. No, I probably won’t so I will have to copy and paste it to my desktop so I can tell it to my daughter.

    He IS a smart kid! Funny and sensitive too! I’m going to his bar mitzvah in a couple of weeks. πŸ™‚ My CRS is getting worse every year.

  6. To David: There is no transition from the apple throwing to Goethe. When I landed here I was simply still soo angry at those university teachers that bury the great works under their idle gratuitous and cheesy critiques. Unbelievable.

    This morning, because of my post on “Money” I needed to find out whether it was in “Cannery Row” that a currency went to hell and people used frogs instead of dollars.

    So what did I find? Pages and pages of
    “Free essay on Cannery Row”,
    “Free Critique of Cannery Row”,
    “Free summary of Cannery Row”,
    “Free plot review of Cannery Row”

    God damn those parasites to some special hell

    OK, thanks for explaining that. I probably over-interpret the written words of my commentators anyway. And your syntax is different enough to tangle me up. But please feel free to vent against ignorance whenever you like!

  7. πŸ˜€

    Best variation ever! I mean – people do the “an apple a day keeps the doctor away – only if you throw really hard” etc feel so dog-tired and slow… but this one actually FLOWS!

    It’s a natural joke as opposed to forced humor (where you need to provide a laughter track after every punchline).

    by an extra ‘o’ -> I meant that genius breaks the rules. (Or assume I said something clever – it’s something that makes everyone laugh without me needing to explain πŸ˜› )

    Thank you Nimish, I really appreciate your analysis & critique. I’d never heard the “only if you throw really hard” joke, so thanks for that too. I will pass it along to my friend’s son.

  8. Good one! After his bar mitzvah, he’ll graduate to
    comedy manhood. No telling what he’ll come up with then!

    I like the header a lot.

    Thanks moonbeam. I predict a brilliant career for this kid.

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