Posted by: David | January 31, 2008

Toys on my shelf

I got nothin. I’m tired from work and wish I had some pithy and meaningful topic on which to post. But I don’t. And darn it, that’s what I think you expect from me, Internet! That I can deliver.

I’m still working on cleaning useless junk out of my office. The bookshelves are pretty clear now. I’ve removed a couple of boxes of useless computer junk. Knowledge worker detritus. IT stuff ages more rapidly than any soft cheese. However, Springfield’s First Family now gets a whole shelf to themselves.

When I retire, this unopened set will be worth approximately $67,500.00.

At that time, gasoline will cost about $25 per liter. Fortunately, fuel cell technology will make that gas go 10,000 times further than before.

Another toy on my shelf came from a coworker with the most wonderful sense of humor. She knows how much I love jelly beans and gave this thoughtfully scatological gift to me back during the High Holy Days. It’s a jelly bean dispenser toy.

It’s a reindeer that has to go. Or did already.

I will never know whether those brown jelly beans actually taste like reindeer poo or not since I can never open this rare novelty antique of the future. Combined with the Simpsons set above, I will have an extra hundred grand for my Golden Years. That will probably be enough to buy my last automobile, with 0% down, no payments until 2020, and a $15,000 cash back bonus, which I’ll spend (and lose) in East Vegas.



  1. Love your Simpsons collectibles! We collect Simpsons fabulous figures, too, but we don’t have these posable bendable limited edition beauties. I’ve got the luxurious chess set, which I bought about ten years ago so it’s got to be worth about $2 million by now. I’ve also got all the precious-precious Simpsons Halloween figurines that McDonald’s was giving away in the Happy Meals years ago. Those have to worth a cool mil each, I would think. But I’ll never be able to part with any of it, because the Simpsons are like family, and you just can’t put a price on family.

  2. “worth approximately $67,500.00.”

    By that time you would have a new dollar issued simply at 100000000000000000000000 old dollars for a new one.

    Here is Machado’s great verse:

    Esperemos que no sea verdad
    lo que sabemos

    Let’s hope that what we know is not true.

  3. But the idea of decorating your office with toys, and with toys of that kind, is really brilliant. Do you maybe work at a company where peer opinion is studied by the staff department?

  4. Maybe this is what they mean by “hedge funds”? Investment in kids’ toys? Now that real estate is dropping and banks do not trust themselves…

  5. @ canteuso – i think perhaps *everybody* works at a company where peer opinion is studied :o)

    I wonder what my office collection of boxed Furbies says about me, beyond the fact that I will probably be borrowing grocery money from David when I have retired.

  6. A poopin’ reindeer jellybean dispenser is a fantastic idea! A little larger than a Pez dispenser, but you could just make a carrying case for it. When people ask, “Hey, Dave, what’s that fashionable man purse you’ve got slung over your shoulder?” you can just unsnap the little pouch, eject a couple of deer poop jelly beans, and pop ’em into your mouth for effect.

    I’m glad to know you’re investing wisely in your future.

  7. Yes, thanks for the encouragement all. Vermonter and I toil together in the field of higher education. I think the Furby family in her office will turn out to have been a great investment too, as I’ve studied this extensively with my accountants and brokerage team. Most of the team is under 10, but what an eye on the future they have! Of course they LOVE toys. Poop toys especially! Well, honestly, who doesn’t love a good poop toy! It’s fun in its most essential and elemental form! Pure Brown Fun, as our friend Romi41 has shared at her place.

  8. I bought my son a box of Cheesy Poofs cereal from South Park quite a few years ago. He never opened it because he felt it might go up in value. I would hate to see what the cereal looks like inside there now.

    A long time ago I bought him Star Wars monopoly. He didn’t open that either thinking it might be worth something someday. I went on E-bay and it’s worth less now then when I bought it.

  9. Hahaha….pure brown fun indeed…so…Dave, would you be at all surprised to know that not only have I had a pooping reindeer before, but that I have also eaten the jelly beans??? (what IS it with me and poo all the time!??!?)

    PS: they don’t taste like poo, so now you know 😉

  10. Indeed, your investment strategy looks better every day.

    Though, when I read one of those IHT bloggers, they mentioned food cans as an alternative.

    See? Could you decorate your office with food cans ?

    My new office space doesn’t have a shelf to display these things, so they are now in one of several boxes of stuff stored in a closet. I really like the idea of food cans, though I don’t eat much out of cans. My desk is usually stocked with various snacks and chewing gum. I have to watch out for chipmunks though, as they are commonly spotted running around in the building. Usually the first detection of a chipmunk in the building is a woman’s scream. They are often seen in our library building too. Someone wisely suggested that we get a cat for the library. If only that could really happen. 🙂

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