Posted by: David | January 23, 2008

Office Follow Up

I removed an entire box of crap from the bookshelves in my office today. The box is on the floor and will be moved into the storage location in another building.  In the meantime I promised to show you my techno-shrine. I have been working at this computer desktop support gig for a while now, and need some props to show my clients what a hard drive really is, and stuff. So I’ve accumulated the following:

  1. A gigantic 1 gigabyte hard drive from the 1970s, cover removed so the “platters” are visible.
  2. A patriotic pinwheel sticking out of this ancient giant puny hard drive.
  3. A hard drive from a modern desktop with 30 times the capacity of the giant.
  4. A laptop hard drive of yet more gigabyte-age.
  5. Homer and Marge Simpson Pez dispensers. There’s candy in them!
  6. Some kind of birdnest found in a college parking lot. It has student hair in it. Or some kind of human hair, and since long-haired female students are the biggest human resident population …
  7. 3 nice rocks, one Sharpie-inscribed with my Myers-Briggs Type as determined at a pretty interesting workshop. I’m an INFP, in case you’re wondering (Oh? That figures?!)
  8. A tiny galvanized bucket with a swatch of fabric from an art installation in Central Park, NYC a number of years back- gift from a coworker who actually saw the installation. I’m scared of NYC.
  9. A hamster wheel.

img_1683.jpg
Central icons of my work.

It’s always fun when visitors to my office ask about the hamster wheel. Or any of the other objects for that matter. The giant hard drive that holds barely more than a CD is quite a machine. We had so much less data back then!

Another attraction in my office is much less technological.

jellybeansntissues.jpg
It’s a bowl of jelly beans and a box of tissues.

Ronald Reagan was not one of my favorite presidents. But he did an awful lot to improve the lot of the jelly bean. The Melmac® bowl is filled with a gourmet jelly bean that a dear coworker gets me from Sam’s Club. I’m not allowed to go to Sam’s Club anymore after I killed that guy in Houston. Or was it Midland? Whatever. I don’t do Walmart either.

Anyway, the jelly bean bowl is right near my door to attract passing traffic. Most people, it turns out, are looking for a specific color of bean. It’s a rare individual who will grab a few random beans and toss them back all at once. In fact, I think I might be the only one. The box of tissues comes in handy around April and May, when a frantic student whose hard drive has crashed, destroying their Senior Capstone project, for which there was no backup, finally gives in to the rush of tears. It’s sad when we don’t back up our data.

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Thanks for sending me this sign Sarah!

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Responses

  1. Liked what I saw. I will be back. In 1976 I invented the Jelly Belly beans. Enjoyed your articles….THANKS ….DAVID

  2. Thank you for Jelly Bellies, David Klein.

    Other David, your office looks desolate. Even the whimsical items that you’ve shown here betray the fact that underneath the paint, the fabric, the shiny hamster wheel, is a sad and depressing room that’s crying for an intervention.

    I’m an INFP too. I can’t remember what “N” stands for. But I am one, I swear it.

  3. I like the black jelly beans. I can’t remember the last time I had one. Everyone’s talking about food today. I think I’ll go eat my high fiber muffin, Yea !

    Do you have a hamster to go with the wheel?

  4. Since we’re sharing Myers-Briggs stuff here, I’m an INTJ. N stands for intuitive. I think it’s funny = three of us bloggers are all considered introverts. LOL. Shure…

    I like orange or red jelly beans. In case anyone cares to know that.

    Did you explain the hamster wheel? I don’t think you did. Or I missed it.

  5. YES David Klein, thank you! Jelly Bellys RULE! I wish I could afford the genuine item in my Melmac bowl, but your visit to my blog will go a long way toward making my office less desolate and depressing.

    Perhaps we need a new Jelly Belly flavor: Prozac. It would be minty, cinnamony, and vanilla, with floral notes to finish. Or maybe just Juicy Pear, my total fave. Moonbeam and I will buy those in 50 pound bags.

    The N is for “Intuitive” moonie. Yeah, you are one.

  6. 2 comments appear while answering the first 2. I’m glad you asked about the hamster wheel. Hint: there is a hamster, and he is US!

  7. A few thoughts:

    1. I am also an INFP. Yes, it does figure.

    2. That is my hair. In the nest. And I want it back.

    3. David Klein = Brush With Greatness = You Should Be On Letterman

  8. hey nice gourmet of jelly beans!!! looks very cute & delicious..haha

  9. 3 Cheers For INFPs!!

    Myers: Gimme an I!!
    Team INFP: I!!!
    Briggs: Gimme an N!!
    Team INFP: N!!!
    …well you get the rest

    And 3 cheers for Jelly Beans!

    mom-nos, I don’t remember your hair ever being this long, but I found the nest 5 years ago in the Shepard parking lot. I think it blew out of the pines at Shepard’s north end. And anyway, as everyone knows, one can never get hair back again.

    The Hamster Wheel, dear internet, is symbolic of the Great Wheel of Upgrades, just like the Karmic Wheel of Life, but for the IT biz and its consumers. I make my living among such bits and pieces, but often feel like a hamster. Take that back … a gerbil. I had a gerbil when I was a kid that would get going so fast on the wheel that he sometimes flipped it right over. Like a rodent Evel Knievel (RIP Mr. K). His name was Ronald. The gerbil’s name. His gerbil spouse was Rita. Ronald and Rita like the old Microsoft Office 97, and have no intentions of upgrading. Their computer would explode if they tried. All they do is write letters to their congressgerbils anyway. When they want to be spun around they use the wheel.

  10. Question. If you are Infp, why do you even WANT to attract passing traffic?! And… have you even attempted the Harry Potter inspired Jelly Bean flavors? absolutely disgusting. A kid tricked me once – I about threw up. I’m ENFP, btw.

  11. The icons display is awesome. The PEZ dispensers really caught my attention. But the proximity of the Kleenex to the candy dish is unsettling. Surely you’ve heard about the mint dish in restaurants and why you should never eat the mints? Perhaps you would be wise to add a box of antibacterial wipes to that display. I’m just looking out for you.

  12. Well C, just cuz I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t like people. I have not tried any HP flavors. I managed to let the whole HP thing pass right by. Never even read the Hobbit in my youth.

    Wendy, I never thought about the proximity issues with the candy and the tissues. Frankly I think that we go way overboard with all our germophobia. All this antimicrobial crap is killing our immune systems! I think we should eat more dirt and germs!

  13. I don’t have a problem eating dirt, or even eating a jelly bean that fell to the floor (Mmm, floor candy, as Homer would say) but I wouldn’t want to eat other people’s boogers. I read an article once about a woman who sneezed while putting a roast chicken in the oven for a dinner party. Every person at that party got sick from her sneeze. If you won’t make your guests sanitize, at least ask them to eat the jelly beans before they blow their nose. Put a sign up requesting it. It’s you, Dave, it’s you I’m thinking of.

  14. “just cuz I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t like people”

    You are so right! I apologize for thinking wrongly on that. 🙂

  15. No apology necessary C, but thank you anyway. The whole introvert/extrovert thing has always confused the crap out of me.

    And Wendy thank you too for thinking of me! If only MORE people would do that! Actually I’m good on that. However, that story about the infected chicken just doesn’t compute. If the chicken was roasted properly, not a germ would survive, even if it was totally encrusted with roasted SNOT! 😦

    If I put up a sign near the tissue box in my office it would say:

    “PLEASE BACK UP YOUR IMPORTANT FILES SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO CRY IN MY OFFICE!”

  16. And another thing, I’m sick to death of Lysol commercials that feature the chicken leg as the source of all evil germs!

  17. The poor, poor chicken leg… In MY kitchen, it’s the duck necks that scare the bejeezeus out of me. (my dog is SPOILED….)

  18. Hi Dave!

    I love when people show me what’s in their office! I start a new job Monday and my favorite part is going to be decorating my cubicle.

    Two things of note:
    1) Don’t ask me why I remember this because I haven’t taken the Myers Briggs Personality Sorter since high school but I know that I am an ISTJ – or inspector… and I remember reading the description that came with the book and saying “Dammit… I guess what they say is true.” because it was all right. For those of you reading who have not yet taken this test… do it now!

    2)On birds nests… birds often use hair in their nests because it is soft & will help to insulate the nests while allowing the fecal matter to aerate. For whatever reason I am full of useless knowledge on various birds. I recommend that everybody clean out their hairbrushes and toss the hair outside for the birds year round! Birds nest in winter too!
    On a more serious note, it is actual a federal offense to own a birds nest. Seriously, I’m not kidding you. It seems rediculous but tampering with a birds nest is a federal offense, even if it looks abandoned. I’m sure it was a gift from a friend of a friend, it’s not a huge deal. I just thought it was a fun fact. I’m not some freak who is now going to report you to the Wildlife Commissioner…

    and now I’m just sounding like a fruitcake so I’m going to go. But welcome to my blog! Thanks for reading. 🙂

  19. Duck necks!? EEEWWWW! Now THAT is a germ factory! C your hub likes cooking a variety of fowl eh? Me too. We haven’t had duck in like forever. Thufferin thuccotash!!

    Thank YOU for stopping by dragonfly. 🙂 Good luck with your new job next week. I SWEAR I didn’t “tamper” with the birdnest. As mentioned, I found it in the parking lot. It never crossed state lines either, so I think the feds can stay out of it. I’m glad you’re not some snitch freak!

  20. This sign is something to think about. It is similar to those classics where the professor writes 127 pages of introductory analysis for some Kafka story 2.5 pages long.

  21. I’m not so literate cantueso, and not so sure I understand your comment. But I think I almost get it. I did LOL, briefly, before I realized that I probably don’t really get it. Did Kafka actually write a story that short?

    Thanks for visiting- I have enjoyed your thoughtful posts at “Fishing”.

  22. Whether Kafka wrote a story that short? Many. Just a paragraph, but I wonder whether they could be translated. Can you read German?

    There is one, just about 15 lines, where somebody watches the dancer on a horse in the circus (the dancer representing beauty and/or superhuman facility or lightness) (that bewilders the onlooker?). But there is one online. Don’t you know the Emperor’s Message? It must be about a page.
    I am going to look for it now.

  23. http://tinyurl.com/3x66za

    The Imperial Message.

    That is the one about the Emperor. It is *********** more than five stars.

    The long things, those books of his, can easily be depressing, but the short ones are the upliftiest thing you can get in German.

    In German you would otherwise not read him for his stories, but for that most perfect language of his. This is remarkable, because he was Jewish, and where was he from? Prague? Can’tt remember.


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