Posted by: David | January 20, 2008

Happy Birthday Thoughts-0-Dave!

January 20 is the birthday of this blog. The first idiotic post was a year ago and I think I’ve kept the idiocy going pretty nicely, don’t you Internet?

In honor of this anniversary, some lovely birthday presents have shown up. All on their own. Inadvertently. Without even knowing of this special moment. Went out to lunch Saturday with some close friends from work. We had a great time blabbing about everything and hogged the table for nearly 2 hours at a busy restaurant in New London. Look at these lovely confections that my friend presented me with…

jacquescandies.jpg
Is there anything happier looking than these things? They were YUMMY!

Leaving New London, I headed over to Newbury Harbor to buy my blog the most perfect birthday present that there is: BACON!

smellydog.jpg
WHAT!?!? (That got Oliver’s attention.)

Yes, I said BACON! OK, maybe that’s not the perfect blog birthday present, but I figure any kind of pork would be pretty darn good. Not just any old crappy sliced up pig belly. North Country Smokehouse’s Applewood Smoked Bacon. There’s a nice little store in Newbury Harbor plaza called “Newbury News”. They feature one of the North Country Smokehouse’s bacon flavors each month at a 50 cent per pound discount.

bacon.jpg
Scratch and sniff your computer screen.

The final, and most disturbing (yet superficially appropriate) inadvertent present was this STUPID looking clock that my wife bought somewhere. It’s stupid because it looks like a Wedgewood china plate trapped in some kind of basket contraption. When I asked how much this ultra-queer looking timepiece cost, I got this formulation: “It was 25% off of $45.” That’s code for “At least I didn’t pay FULL PRICE for this $33.75 piece of shit!” Well, yes you did, and the full price was $33.75.

gayclock.jpg
No, it’s not Paris time. It’s Eastern Standard Lame-Ass Time.

Turns out that the ultra-premium natural fiber blend (i.e. paper and cardboard) face of the clock had a big warpage going from 7 to 10 o’clock. We don’t need that kind trouble every morning and evening. So that clock’s going back to the WalMart, Dollar Store, CVS, or whatever retail hellhole it came from.

So that’s it for Thoughts-0-Dave first birthday presents. Like most one-year-olds, this blog has been lots of fun, with an occasional puke in your lap. Sorry about that Internet! I’ve learned almost nothing useful for my everyday life by blogging this past year! But it’s been a lot of fun, and a doctor once told me that fun is good. That was Dr. Seuss. So I will probably keep posting, until you tell me to stop. Thanks for reading!

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Responses

  1. ok i have looked around (ok, i Googled) but did not discover a way to post the little birthday gift I scavenged from the Internet for you T0D . Unless I change my avatar photo — but then it would be so teeny no one could tell what it was. So: I may have to email it to David instead. He will also be getting a little birthday-movie-card for you that same way — from The Pickled Eggs. Or what’s left of them. These are silly little tokens, it’s true but it’s just my way of saying DON’T STOP!!!

  2. Thanks vermonter, that is awfully nice of you. And your encouraging means quite a lot to me so thanks for that too. Unfortunately for all of us, I expect to continue posting this ridiculous drivel. As long as I have Thoughts-0-Dave. (SSSHHHH! Don’t tell Dave! It’s a surprise!)

  3. Happy Blog Birthday, David! Don’t stop blogging. The Internet wouldn’t be the same without those photos of Wishbone. Er, I mean Oliver. And your confections … oh my god, those were ridonkulous. I hope they tasted as sublime as they look in that photo.

    Is your squirrel avatar and the fact that National Squirrel Awareness Day is always on January 21, a coincidence or did you plan it to debut Thoughts-0-Dave in conjuncture with Squirrel Day?
    http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/January/squirrelappreciation.htm

  4. @Wendy: now that bit about squirrels is sublimely useful information; much more evocative than the Anniversary of the Microwave. thank you so much.

  5. Congrats on one year! and I’m looking forward to more blogginess in the future…

  6. JAYZUS! Talk about repeating history! The “Any Excuse for a Party” website has quite the little cluster going for these days of mid-January:

    January 19 – The front-hook bra is invented, 1942.
    January 20 – George Burns’ Birthday, 1896.
    January 21 – The microvave oven is invented, 1951.
    January 22 – The first nude beach opens in the U.S., 1952.
    January 23 – Tuperware (sic) is invented, 1942.

    The squirrel thing is good too. Just not as venerable. Wendy, the squirrel avatar has a story to it from a previous post. This squirrel was truly nutty, and the picture I snapped caught its agitation, I thought. I had interrupted it, after all. Why it’s my avatar is a question to ask my therapist. Good luck with that. She NEVER returns my calls!

    Thanks for the encouraging wishes C! More blogginess coming right up after these messages …

  7. My pings (?) aren’t showing up. But I pinged you, if that’s what you call it. 🙂

  8. Happy Belated Blogoversary! What a milestone! The treats from your friends and the bacon look delicious.

    I don’t know, though. I’m getting sort of a weird feeling that you don’t like that clock.

  9. Thanks moonbeam! Right on, I don’t like the clock. Our old clock was more than adequate, although it has Roman numerals, which are problematic for some of our Tibetan friends. Oh who am I kidding!? We have no Tibetan friends! But if we did, they would still like the old clock. Because they are nice people, the Tibetans. Are ya following my logic here? If so, please explain it to me cause I am not quite there yet …

    Wendy, I’m not sure I know what a ‘ping’ is in blogspeak. This is what a ping is to me:

    C:\>ping http://www.wordpress.com

    Pinging wordpress.com [72.232.101.41] with 32 bytes of data:

    Reply from 72.232.101.41: bytes=32 time=108ms TTL=54
    Reply from 72.232.101.41: bytes=32 time=108ms TTL=54
    Reply from 72.232.101.41: bytes=32 time=107ms TTL=54
    Reply from 72.232.101.41: bytes=32 time=107ms TTL=54

    Ping statistics for 72.232.101.41:
    Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 4, Lost = 0 (0% loss),
    Approximate round trip times in milli-seconds:
    Minimum = 107ms, Maximum = 108ms, Average = 107ms

    But thanks for pinging me!

  10. Happy blog birthday! Keep bringing home the bacon. My one-year is coming up soon, too.

  11. Well I only discovered you a little while ago, so you sure as hell better not stop blogging! And goodness me, did a paper/carboard uglyass clock seriously cost 33.75? Please tell me you meant pesos, pleeeassse….

  12. Thanks trybecca and romi41 (BTW- what’s the “41” mean, if anything?) for your enthusiasm. I really like your blogs a lot too! And thank you on how freakin awful was that clock! Yeah- DOLLARS!

    I’ll do my gosh darndest to bring the bacon till the cows come home, and then some. And that’s a promise by golly!

  13. Oh that “41”…well anytime I try to pick just “Romi” as a username, it’s always taken (go figure), and I wanted to leave out my last name (’cause I’m kind of like Cher that way (except without the man-voice and abnormally large eyes), so I thought I’d pick the number of one of my favourite Leafs players, i.e. Jason Allison…now Jason Allison is not a very good player (not by any means); in fact he was rather slow and big-assed as an NHL-er, but he was an excellent playmaker; I just liked him ’cause the media/sportscasters always thought he was crappy; I’m kind of defiant that way 😉

  14. I think you should not have placed your cakes so close to those nurse teaching materials. I have a delicate stomach and I am underweight.
    ……………………………………………………………..

    Maybe you can remember I once told you about a particularly entertaining blog http://strangemaps.files.wordpress.com/

    that fetched millions of hits and was also highly instructive to write and to read, but especially to write. At the time I voiced some doubt. You understood that I doubted his stats, but no, I doubted the future of his blog. It seemed to me it was becoming too big so that he should edit and re-publish his oldest entries.

    Now I see what he did: he is selling his blog as a book at Amazon. I think it might actually work as one of those coffee-table gift items. I forgot to look whether it is print-on-demand.

    I love maps too and that is a fascinating site. It was good of you to link to it. I hope that his efforts are profitable for him.

  15. I really like that clock. It looks a little like a sunflower also in size. One day they will also make TV screens and laptops that way.

    God I hope not!

  16. !!! of course my first remark about ther placement of cakes vs nurses’ teaching materials was meant for your

    https://davidlevine.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/fatal-tedium/

    Other post ? I sort of guessed that … you mean the loaves of rising bread at the bottom of that post, right? Yes that was somewhat random. No wonder the default category tag for my blog is “Random”.


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