Posted by: David | January 12, 2008

Nomenclature Meme a la Moonbeam

Fellow blogger Moonbeam McQueen has invited me to participate in this mostly harmless name-meme. Because I like Moonbeam’s blog so much, I’m gonna go ahead and do this meme, but I’m not going to bother inviting anyone else, since Moonbeam has already invited a whole bunch of fun bloggers already. This meme consists of name constructions based on one’s past. A bunch of friends and me at work one lunchtime last year amused ourselves for a good 20 minutes with “Porn Name”, which I took the liberty of adding as #17 to Moonbeam’s list. Our favorite Porn Name at that lunch, if I remember correctly, was “Rusty Cherry”. On with the meme …

1. My rock star name (first pet and current car)
Snapper Camry

Rapper, rocker, heavy metallurgist. Drink the Vitamin Water.

2. My gangsta name (ice cream flavour and cookie or biscuit)
Neopolitan Nilla

I would eat the vanilla out of the middle and throw the rest out the Camry window.

3. My fly girl name (first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)
D Lev

I have quite a rack!

4. My detective name (favourite colour, favourite animal)
Rainbow Cat

Yet to solve a single crime.

5. My soap opera name (middle name, city of birth)
Lawrence New Haven

Extremely wealthy and utterly flamboyant queer.

6. My Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name)
LevDa

Like this name, I do 2.

7. My superhero name (second favourite colour, favourite drink, add “the”)
The Grey Goose

That was easy.

8. My Nascar name (first two names of my two grandfathers)
Abe Louis

When not driving his “Hebrew National” car, he’s taking a nice walk.

9. My stripper name (favourite perfume, favourite sweet)
Speed Stick Turtle

I only dance in my own living room, and start out completely naked.

10. My witness protection name (mother’s and father’s middle names)
Lois Robert

They made me into a chick. I should have returned that wallet I found.

11. My weather anchor name (fifth grade teacher’s name, a major city beginning with the same letter)
Lougee Los Angeles

The Weather Channel’s most unpopular and inaccurate anchorperson.

12. My spy name (favourite season/flower)
Summer Rosebud

Extremely effeminate, but definitely heterosexual spy.

13. Cartoon name (favourite fruit plus garment you’re wearing, with an “ie” or “y” added)
Granny Smith T-Shirty

Hanna Barbera’s unsold pilot, featuring the voice of Charlie Sheen.

14 Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast plus favourite tree)
Oatmeal White Ash

Uh huh. Right on.

15. Your rockstar tour name (favourite hobby plus weather element, with “the”)
The Roadbiking Wind

Gone gone gone …

16: Blues singer name (a disability, a fruit or vegetable, and a president)
Dumb Banana Roosevelt

Like, it’s all chords, man. A, G, E, D, B. Dig it.

17. Porn Name (First pet, street of childhood home)
Snapper Daniel

Limpest pornstar ever.

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Responses

  1. Thanks so much for doing this, Snapper!
    Your hippie name is groovy, and the comment on your Nascar name is hilarious!

    “Speedstick” is a fantastic male stripper name, “Turtle,” um…not so much. Remember my thing about Tom Cruise.

    And I think we all ought to form a blues band, just so we can use these names. We can meet at Best Buy, and Wendy can play the keyboards.

  2. I would love to be the keyboardist, I see myself as having the same on-stage moves as the keyboardist in Josie and the Pussycats. But LOL, there were so many things here that made me laugh:

    “Extremely wealthy and utterly flamboyant queer.”

    “Hanna Barbera’s unsold pilot, featuring the voice of Charlie Sheen.”

    But especially: “I only dance in my own living room, and start out completely naked.”

    Ha! How positively obscene.

  3. All that and a bag of chips. And yeah, it’s obscene all right- a reverse strip. I end up fully clothed in a shabby leisure suit from the 70s.

    This meme turned out more fun than I thought it would moonbeam, thanks for inviting me!

    So Wendy, you would be Josie, right? Thank god I never saw this movie! Do you really play keyboard (other than the QWERTY)?? I’d like to be the drummer. Drummers are cool!

  4. There is NO way Summer Rosebud is hetero, that’s like Star Jones trying to keep a straight face when she says her husband is…straight..right. And yo, D-Lev, I am totally jealous of your giant rack 😉

  5. “Rusty Cherry” is a better porn name than I could have given myself. “The Green Beer,” however, is an ominous moniker for a superhero, and says more about my Irish-American heritage than even our ethnic food, the tater-tot.

  6. I said “quite a rack” Romi, not “giant rack”, eyes up here, Romi.

    vermonter YES, Rusty Cherry is pretty much the best female porn name ever! Notice I qualified that (after 2 or 3 minutes of “formulating” I could not make it work in my head as a male porn name- can you? If you can I don’t want to hear it, OK?). Nowadays, Rusty would be in the MILF category, having been ’round the block a few times.

    The Green Beer works for me too, but what I really love about your comment is that you use the words “ominous moniker” and “tater-tot” in the same sentence! You ROCK DOC!

  7. These are great. I hope someday there IS a Rusty Cherry starring in off beat films. Actually, it sounds like someone in a John Waters film.

    I obviously had to do my own while reading. I’m a badass rockstar – Clyde Ram.

  8. Clyde Ram is good, Ceridwen, but your porn name might not work out. That’s the first pet plus the street name where you lived as a newborn. First name of Clyde’s just not gonna work for ANY porn actress. Or is it?

  9. I can’t help but think that Rusty Cherry would use W-D 40 as a personal lubricant.


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