Yes, Internet, sorry to have to tell you this, but nobody can be trusted these days. It’s just like Dr. Gregory House says, “Everybody lies”. I lie, you lie, we all lie. Though we may be painfully aware of the truth, we prefer the polished and shiny lies. They’re so pretty … see how the light catches their crystalline facets. While The Truth, let’s face it, just kills us a little more each day with its pure ugliness. Those headlines assaulting us hourly … “police used tear gas … shots fired … death toll expected to rise … explosions could be heard …” constantly reminding us that only the sheerest curtain separates our pleasant, contented existences from utter torment.
Every morning that I pedal my spinning bike to nowhere and watch Robin Meade on CNN is a reminder how lucky I am. Getting to watch Robin Meade is good luck surely- she’s so adorable. Or is that just another lie that I tell myself? Am I really that lucky? Is Robin Meade really that great? Yeah she is. Anyway, she’s usually talking about screwed up stuff happening elsewhere in the world. That’s what passes for “news” these days. Another reminder. Of the luck. The good, good luck. So I guess that living in the Golden Age of Television helps too, with distraction from the pain.
“I hope this has taught you children a lesson: kids never learn.”
Chief Wiggum (The Simpsons)
So I’ve never been struck by lightning. I have never been hospitalized or needed surgery. That’s good luck. However, almost all of 2007 has gone by and my Tri-State Megabucks Lottery winnings are at a dismal total of negative $200.00. I am paying the stupidity tax in the Live Free or Die Trying state where I reside and some day I’ll be a millionaire. Until then, for $4 a week, I fantasize about it. And yet I have a deep suspicion of The Rich and Famous. When I win my millions, then I will be suspicious of myself, even more than now. Which is why I must dispose of the money as quickly as possible, before I even realize what happened. Sounds like a plan.