Posted by: David | May 28, 2007

Caterpillar 315BL

Yeah, so this machine parked in our dooryard costs, used around 3,000 hours, more than we paid for our entire house and land. In Caterpillar’s lineup of hydraulic excavators the 315BL is considered “small”, but it sure looks big in our yard.

It’s been suggested that I “try it out”, since they left the keys in it. After all, what’s more fun than digging holes? Yeah, I’d love to accidentally knock my house down. It’d be FUN! It’s insured, what the hell?!

315blcontrols.jpg
Turn key right, set control to “rabbit” (fast) and …

315blcontrols2.jpg
… hmmm, let’s see, radio, wiper, fan. Wonder what “AUT” is? Auto-pilot?

315blcontrols3.jpg
And here’s some other controls. Nice icons, wonder what they mean?

But here’s the freaky thing. You know how your digital camera makes up names for all the image files you shoot? Well, the 1G card in my camera reached “IMG_0315.JPG” with the second picture above. OK? Do you get the synchronicity here? The one-ness of the universe (guess that’s why they call it a universe, duh!)??

315bl.jpg
This is image file “IMG_0317.JPG” !! Only 2 off from being another startling coincidence!

So is the universe giving me a hint? Yes, of course. It’s always doing that. Stupid universe! Leave me alone with your mysterious crap already!

 Would I ever consider trying out a hydraulic excavator just for fun? No more than I would consider writing my own software or buying a Dell with UBUNTU on it from Wal Freakin Mart!! Sure all those things might be fun, but only until somebody gets HURT. I’m going to listen to my better angels here, and hope to see a giant hole when I get home from work tomorrow.

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Responses

  1. So no cigar?

    *throws away shovel*

    Goddamnit….

    *moves to next target*

    scifi.com/scifiction/archive.html

    Sheckley, including others. And “The Periodic Table of Science FIction”

  2. Just between you and me Nimish, I did turn the key about 45 degrees clockwise. A loud beeping sound came out. I turned it right back. If the beeping scared me, imagine what the diesel engine roaring to life would do.

    You inspired this post with your devil/angel double dare from the previous post. So, while you were unable with your blog commentary to cause a hydraulic excavator to be illegally operated by an amateur digger half a world away and thus cause who knows what kind of disaster, you were able to cause a certain blogger to go outside and take even more pictures of the CAT315BL. So congratulations on that.

  3. YESSSS.

    Now, for my plans for world domination.

    *heh* *heh*

    They’re pinky and the brain
    They’re pinky and the brain
    One is a genius
    The other’s insane
    They’re pinky, they’re pinky, they’re pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain brain

  4. Maybe I can dig a hole to New Dehli so we can install a hotline!

    Good to know that you are already versed in appropriate cartoon lingo. You can be the genius and I can be the insane one. Please send me a check so I can get started.

  5. Wait, I wanted to be brain.

    Anywho.

    Your check is in the nigerian escrow service. To claim it, please forward your account details to the Royal Prince of Naiwobi.

    I write to inform you the fee for your Cheque Draft has been Paid last week Tuesday 15/5/2007 2:30 Pm afternoon by I Secretary Francis P Ike as was Directed by my boss Barrister bello K Blessing because the manager of Eko Banking on Benin told me that before the check will get to you it will expire.So i told him to cash the $700,000.00,all the necessary arrangement of delivering of the $700,000.00 in cash was made with SERVICE COURIER COMPANY WORLD WILD.

    Here is the contact of the Un Service Courier Company World Wild
    bellow.

    ATTN: Dr.Morris A Whosreal
    TEl: : 0-93-808-491
    EMAIL: dfnhwefrh34fuigh@yahoo.co.bbc

    Please send them your contacts information to enable them locate you immediately they arrived in your country with your BOX.This the information they need from in order to delivery your package to your address.

    *1.YOUR FULL NAME…
    *2.YOUR HOME ADDRESS ….
    *3 YOUR CURRENT HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER…..
    *4.YOUR CURRENT OFFICE TELEPHONE…….
    *5.A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE………

    Please make sure you send this needed info’s to the Director general Service Courier Company world wild in Benin Dr.Morris A Isreal with the address given to you.Note. The Global Service Dr.Morris A Getreal don’t know the contents of the Box. I registered it as a dameges of jeans returning to the retaler. They don’t know it contents money to avoid them delaying with the Box. Please don’t let them know the Box it’s contents money.

    I am waiting for your urgent response. You can even call the Director Dr.Arinke C Isntreal with this line 0-938-08491.

    Thanks
    Miss Francine O Ike
    General Secretary

  6. Un Service Courier Company World Wild bellow.

    I love this spam message. Though I changed a lot, this quote is inside it. Amazing, innit ?

    World Wild Bellow indeed.

  7. But isn’t the brain the genius one? And don’t you want my Social Security number too before I send you the money so you can send me the check? Duh! Maybe you ARE the insane one after all?!

    Oh and BTW, I cannot send you a copy of my picture, as I have lost all the originals. Nevertheless, I look forward to doing business with you Dr. Whosreal. Are you related to Dr. Isreal?


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