Posted by: David | February 16, 2007

Allright Already- Nobody Sucks!

OK, our story so far … nobody sucks and …

Remember how I said that I turned 50 years old a while back?

Well I survived my most involved medical procedure to date (not including a root canal). It’s a “special” procedure, recommended to 50 year-old healthy, insured North Americans where they take a long, snakey “instrument” and put it where the sun don’t shine. You know. And this is after 24 hours of clear liquids and powerful laxatives, which is the part everyone loves to tell about …

I got some pictures of it. It looks pretty lonely inside my colon. And slippery. Spelunkers would not have good footing. I wasn’t expecting the sort of triangular shape of the inner walls of my guts. I wonder if my farts are triangular. Probably not. Though they certainly smell triangular.

Anyway the anesthesia was perfect and I came right out of it when it was over. No ill effects and a clean bill of colonic health. Life is good. And it will be even better after I have a non-liquid crap. Won’t it? The simple things …

To think that I said in my first post that I did not intend to spill my guts in this blog. Now look! … at my gut(s). I wish I could tell you where this next image is anatomically, but I failed to ask the doctor for details. Let’s just say that it’s somewhere far far up me bum. Another lonely and dark place where shit happens. Literally.

It might be where the small intestine ends and the large begins. What’s that, the cecum?

I won’t be needing another colonoscopy until I am 60. Woo hoo!

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Responses

  1. Hey Dave, nice colon.

    Glad you’ve found us. And now we’ve found you. And now we know all about your triangular colon. Awesome. We’ll be back often for more rock and roll.

    If you plan on having any other internal organs photographed, please let us know when you post them! (The photos, not the organs.)

  2. Thanks, I like it too. It’s really done very well by me, and through me. Literally. I have no immediate plans to photograph any more internal organs, or, for that matter, external organs. I will continue to post interesting photos of other, perhaps more mundane subjects. Birds, dogs, plants, trees, the sky. You know.

    Please feel free to share your opinions (pos or neg) on any of the music links. Yer ma Bonnie turned me on to the Slambovian Circus. Love them! Listening to Broken Social Scene You Forgot It In People. Not quite sure about it yet. Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl is kinda interesting. Yer ma gave up on Regina Spektor I think.

  3. My EYES! My eyes are burning!
    This is something Joan must see. I’m sending her over here immediately.

  4. Nice Colon!! Looks Nice and Clean. I bet you had fun the day before this picture was taken. My son who is only 26 and has had two colonoscopies. He has bad digestive problems. I never saw the photos of his though I did see the photos of his seven ulcers in his duodenum.

    Well, at least your good until you are 60. I should probably get one because I have never had one and something tells me I never will. I avoid doctors and hospitals as much as possible. I’ll only do it when my daughter makes me. No one says no to her. LOL

  5. Yeah the prep was not much fun, but only a night of discomfort. Gas and the runs are pretty lightweight symptoms as long as one knows that they will be over soon. Nothing is quite so uplifting as a nice clean colonoscopy. I was high for a week knowing I was polyp free.

    One of my really good cycling friends, she and I are about the same age, we had unknowingly had our “procedures” done on the very same day (different hospitals). So does that make us “asshole buddies”?

    The main reason I did it is because I have health coverage that paid for all but a couple hundred bucks worth of this probing. And my doctor recommended it. Not a big fan of Western Med either, but the older I get the more I think about staying healthy.

  6. Does your friend know you consider her an asshole buddy?

    I am seriously impressed that you had this done. Like Joan, I just don’t see myself ever doing it, even though I know you’re supposed to. But I doubt our medical insurance would pay for it anyway, it seems to pay for very little. And wow, you’re done till your 60? That’s got to be a relief.

  7. Yeah my friend has acknowledged asshole buddy-ness. She’s an Italian from Rhode Island so she’s totally down with that shit.

  8. Yes, I don’t understand why this was successful, because you did not tag it. How could anyone find out about it?

    Unknown. It’s a colonic mystery.

  9. I found it on page 7 of Google search for “wordpress colonoscopy”.
    That does not explain your result of 295 hits.

    Thanks for doing that experiment. Perhaps I should use tags more often. Something in my nature abhors categorization. 🙂

  10. Have you seen that WordPress has new wonderful computer generated avatars? There are options, and I chose “monsters”, little monsters, and to see them more clearly I also set the size of the avatars at a maximum 128 x 128, immense, and now can see that animal on your avatar! One can finally see it, its eyes, and how it is climbing! Really nice! Now this is a squirrel, isn’t it?

    I believe (and I read, but too long ago) that spiders no longer concentrate on tags, because there has been abuse, dozens of tags for any little prayer, just so it maybe would get somewhere.

    I am sure that inside WordPress the title is the key, but that title is visible on everybody’s dashboard only for a few minutes. The Google spiders are trained to identify the subject matter. They read the complete text rather than the tags.

    Your thing is too unique to be classified! Classification has to go according a pre-existing nomenclature. If the world were a department store and thoughts or pictures were things, in which department do you think could I find yours?

    I suppose (but don’t know) that such classification can be added as one would add a mask to a face.
    I am thinking of great poetry written under the noses of the censors who could not see it as offensive : now what would the opposite procedure be?

    Thanks cantueso for your nice comment. I have noticed the auto-generated avatars but have not played with them (I’m glad to see that you have in your blog.) My avatar is a photo of an American Red Squirrel, yes. This particular rodent was the star of one of last summer’s posts. Feisty little sucker it was. We have not seen any of these creatures this spring, and my wife, having spotted an odd looking creature a few weeks back, theorizes that a marten may have moved in and decimated the red squirrels. We’re also missing a couple pairs of cardinals that visited our bird feeders regularly.

    What a nicely framed question you asked. If my blog were to be found in a department store, it would be one of those old-fashioned “five and dime” stores. It would be in the “Sundries” aisle. Between the post cards and the shoe laces.

    I am trying my best to follow the “opposite procedure”. Thanks for your encouragement. 🙂

  11. may lord have mercy

    What? On my colon?


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